Dear Wedding Etiquette- I Disagree!

Greetings my lovely readers,

Thank you for joining me in this exciting installment.
I'm not feeling too great (please see this blog to find out why --> http://girlthateatschips.blogspot.co.nz/2014/10/being-woman-hurts-period.html ).

For this reason I will hopefully not make this very long.

I've been meaning to write this particular post for a while now but I just never seem to get round to it.
Well I'm forcing myself to write about it now.

I literally just got back about five hours ago from a wedding weekend away in Tauranga, so I have weddings on the brain.
Figured now was probably just a good a time as any to write an open letter to the person who makes the rules about wedding etiquette.

Some wedding etiquette makes a lot of sense, some of it is D-U-M-B with a capital D!

You are, of course, allowed to disagree with me.
But this is MY OPINION, so NO, I am not WRONG.
Please don't be offended, I am writing this to entertain more than anything.

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Dear Wedding Etiquette,


Some of your rules are silly, and, dare I say it, stupid.



1.
You tell me that I simply must allow all my family members to bring a date.


No.


I shall not.


If I have never met the person and I do not know them from a bar of soap, and they are not married to this particular family member, then no. They do not need to come to my wedding.

I'm sure they don't mind.


If they knew that their attendance meant that a very dear friend of mine would miss out, then if they are decent human beings, they would give up their spot.
I know I would!

I'm sorry random girlfriend of my cousin, but you are not invited.

This rule is stupid.







2.
Wedding etiquette states that you should NEVER hand write on your wedding invitations.

COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE?!

HANDWRITTEN WORDS ON YOUR INVITATIONS?!!!?!?


WHAT. A. DISTASTER!!!!!


Tacky. Pure tack.




I'm sorry to inform you, but I did it.


I did it just because you told me I couldn't.

Haha. No, that's not actually the reason.



Instead of working out how to use mail merge and getting each guest's name printed precisely on the invite and forking out even MORE money than the small fortune I already paid, I HAND WROTE NAMES.


I know. I'm a bad girl.

A rebel, even.


I'm not even sorry.


You can suck it, wedding etiquette! I saved time, money and stress!!!!!!







3.
Don't include gift information on your invitation.


Um, hello?!?!!? Greedy, much??


If you do this, your guests will think you want them to BUY YOU A PRESENT.


Its not as if you are paying thousands of dollars to throw a massive party and inviting them as special guests who will get a free show (I find getting married is a bit like a show), dinner, presents and who knows what else?!

You cannot expect them to get you a gift, especially not since they are your friends and would probably throw money at you if you didn't give them gift information.


Etiquette clearly states that gift information should be passed on to guests through word of mouth.


Don't mind the fact that no one would ever be able to remember the weird gift registry website name you chose, and that your mother will list a bunch of things you didn't actually want to her friends and you'll end up with five soup-makers.

I chose to put gift information in the invitations pack, on a separate card of course.


I even stated that people didn't have to give us anything.

Because they don't.







4.
Don't ever ever ever ever ever have a cash bar.


It is rude.



Sorry, but I'm totally having a cash bar.


As someone who doesn't like alcohol or what it does to people, I didn't think it was appropriate for me to freely supply alcohol at my wedding.


L and I thought that instead of having a completely dry wedding, we'd allow our guests to purchase alcohol for themselves.

That way if they REALLY wanted it that badly they could supply it to themselves, within reason I hope.




You can suck it, wedding etiquette.


I am not paying for people to get wasted.



When I drank alcohol, I got wasted at weddings. It's too easy.



I would not care for it happening at my own wedding.

Hopefully our friends and families respect L and I enough as extremely light/non-drinkers to keep themselves in check.







5.
Send out invitations a few months before the wedding.


It's not as if people have to book flights and get time off well in advance or anything.




I DISAGREE I DISAGREE I DISAGREE!!!!!!!!!


This is probably the dumbest rule I have come across.



I think the sooner you get those invites out the better.


I had a friend who didn't get me her invite til about a month before her wedding and I couldn't go because it was too late to get flights and time of work.
I was extremely upset.


If she had sent her invites out 6-8 months before the wedding, this would not have happened.



L and I gave out our invitations 7 months before our wedding date, and I think it was genius.


It's still over 3 months away and I have almost all my RSVP's and am going to start sorting out table seatings, food, favours, table decorations and arrangements etc well before we even reach the wedding month.

Most people do all these things less than a month to go.



STUFF YOU, WEDDING ETIQUETTE! You are so stupid sometimes.








6.
The wedding week crunch.




Okay, this isn't so much of an etiquette thing, but it is something I am trying to AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!


If all goes as planned, my wedding will be ALMOST totally organised well before the day.


I am not leaving ANYTHING til the last minute.



Why would you put yourself through that if you have ample time to do it in advance?



I do not cope well with stress so I want my weeks leading up to the wedding to be smooth sailing, with nothing really left to do.


I will, of course, document my journey on this blog, so let's see how I go!

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Our wedding isn't far away now, we are almost headed into the double digits!
So exciting!


Stay tuned for more silly wedding stuff from me.

I will give you a proper update of what I have left to do in the next month or so.



x



DAYS TIL THE WEDDING: 103

5 Months To Go

Today marks five months til the wedding!

Not too long to go now.



My biggest headache thus far has been trying to get the church L and I are getting married at to give me information.

We want to have an organist play at the ceremony but I am yet to get the contact information of one.
I asked a while back for it and got no response.
L called them and they said they'd email.
They didn't.
I emailed again, still no contact information.

When we were first planning the wedding back in February the churches we inquired at didn't get back to us and it really upset me.
I was crying and telling everyone I hated wedding planning.


So I've got a back up plan in place, because I don't trust these people to get back to me and I don't want to have to rely on them.
I'm glad I'm friends with a range of talented musicians who are more than happy to play at the wedding.


Grrrr. Its so frustrating though.


Apart from that small detail, the rest of the planning is going slow and steady.




L is yet to do the things he needs to (typical).
We have almost got our centerpieces completely done.

Our RSVP's are due next month so I will have a good idea of numbers for the caterers.
Then I can start working on place-cards, seating charts, favours etc.

It is exciting that the wedding isn't too far away now.


My dress should arrive next month too!
That'll be good to get back into it for a fitting, and my friend Laura gets back to New Zealand soon will be good because she is good to talk to about wedding planning.



Don't have too much else to report, I'm sure things will get busier and busier the closer we get to the wedding day.

I want everything done at least a month in advance though. That is my goal.


At this rate I will be able to achieve it too!

:D

YAY!

August Update

Hello lovely people,

Apologies for my lack of writing lately.

I've been waiting for my friend Aimee to send me some snaps from the engagement party.
I don't have them yet but I'm certain I'll have them before my next entry.



So I figured an update was in order.

I originally started this blog so I could read it later and follow my planning process.


Unlike some brides I've heard of, I am planning all the time.
And I am NOT leaving it to the last minute.

I plan at least a little bit every few days, and the wedding is forever plaguing my mind.
I mean, not plaguing, happily-filling!

Yes, that sounds better.



So since my last entry, my parents came to visit L and I and we had our engagement party.

The party was a lot of fun.


It was basically "The Staggered Party That Wasn't Very Staggered"


Our plan was to have people pop in and leave between the five hours that the party was on.



Some people did this.

Most people did not.



It was actually really sweet how long some people stayed.


Though I'm an introvert and I found all the socializing UTTERLY EXHAUSTING, it also made me feel like the cat's pajamas.
Many warm fuzzies in my heart that day.

What awesome friends and family L and I have!

I will put up some pictures when I get them from Aimee.




Furthermore, my mother accompanied to the wedding dress store, along with Aimee, and they both saw me in my dress.

It wasn't like what you see in the movies.

My mother didn't get all teary and give me a hug.

She didn't say, in an emotional voice: "My daughter is getting married"

She told me there was a mole on my back, and that I should probably get it looked at.
She also advised me to start doing sit-ups to flatten my belly.
Eventually she agreed that I looked nice.

Ah parents.


The wedding dress was all paid for so that's one more thing off the list!


My bridesmaids dresses were also ordered sometime before the engagement party.
We went with simple blue floor length gowns.

I ended up ordering them from Light in the Box, the same place L's sister got her bridesmaids dresses from.


Earlier this week, THEY ARRIVED!


They looked tiny, and I actually started stressing that they wouldn't fit the girls.

This is the first time I really ever stressed about anything since L and I got engaged and I had such a horrific time trying to book wedding venues.


My mind was flying. I had to phone my bridesmaids and talk to them about it.


They assured me everything would be okay.


I decided I would send their dresses to them regardless.


Oh, in case I never mentioned, both my bridesmaids live outside Dunedin.

One is in Christchurch, the other is in Auckland.



Both L's groomsmen are in Dunedin.

So unfair.



Anyway, so I fastposted the dresses to the girls and I was informed the next day that the dresses did, in fact, fit them.

APART from the armhole, which is tiny.

But in the grand scheme of things, I think that is easily fixed.


Since we paid extra to get the dresses custom made to the girls' measurements I would have been pretty devastated if they didn't fit right.

But lo and behold, they do.



All is right with the world.



This weekend L and I are going to go look at suits.

We've also written out thank-you cards for all the people who got us engagement presents so we'll have to start getting those out.


We've only handed out two thirds of the wedding invitations as well so we need to get onto that sooner rather than later.


Phew!


It sure is a busy time.



L still hasn't done the jobs I delegated to him: booking honeymoon accommodation and wedding day transport.

Hopefully he does it before my next entry.

One can only hope.








DAYS TIL THE WEDDING: 198

222 Update

Greetings my dears,


Well. I have done quite a bit since my last blog entry, let me just say that.


Today I went and talked with a florist about my wedding bouquets, which will include one for me and two for my bridesmaids. I'm going with what's real simple, as that is the key word for this wedding.
If it's not simple, I'm not that keen!
I'm not into extravagance and opulence and having a whole bunch of stuff everywhere, sometimes less is more. :-)

L and I did end up getting the cupcake tasters from the Dessert Room and they were absolutely delicious!
So we have decided to go with them for our cake.

We have also been shopping every other weekend and managed to wrangle up most of the stuff we'll need for our centerpieces.

I am a constant visitor of www.myweddingstore.co.nz, they have some great products and have sales constantly.
I've already bought quite a lot of stuff from them, mainly things that I cannot find in the stores here in Dunedin.


Since my last entry I've also been wedding dress shopping!!!!!!!!!

That was a lot of fun!

My parents are coming to town in a few days for mine and L's engagement party so I'm going to take them to see me in the wedding dress. Hopefully that goes well!


I've ordered my bridesmaid dresses, after some deliberation and a fair deal of umm-ing and aah-ing.
I'm really happy with the style we ended up going with.
Again, the style is very simplistic, which is perfect.

We ordered them from an overseas store so now we just have to wait for them to arrive!
So exciting!


Finally, the wedding invitations are done and dusted.
They turned out really well!
My friend Aimee Storm did an absolutely amazing job on them!
She is so talented.

They cost a small fortune to print, because they are on the most beautiful pearlised cream card, but that's okay. It's worth it to have them look that good!!!

I'm going to give out the invitations at the engagement party to all those who are attending, then hand-deliver them to those living in Dunedin, and mail out the rest.



I feel like I've done a lot and the wedding is still over seven months away!

I have a few other things I'd like to write about, mostly stupid wedding etiquette I don't agree with!
I have come across some ridiculous things in my wedding planning ventures which I would love to share with you.

But not today.

Today I'm gonna leave this here. Thanks for reading and I'll write again soon!



DAYS TIL THE WEDDING: 222

Wedding Expo Woes

So a couple of days ago I went to my very first, and hopefully my very last, wedding expo.





When I saw the note in the newspaper advertising the Expo I got EXCITED!
Ooooooh a thing for engaged couples to go to!!!!!!!!
I was expecting great things.



When L and I turned up to the Expo, I noticed it was in the same building that hosted a medical conference my Mum and Dad had been to. I came to visit them and walked around and collected free samples with my Mum (one of the biggest perks of being the offspring of a doctor).
So anyway, when I walked into the Glenroy, I couldn't help but feel like this Expo I had been so excited about didn't look as big and flashy as I thought it would be.


There was only one of the three of Dunedin's bridal stores, House of Kavina. As I am wedding dress shopping in less than a month I chatted to the lady standing there. She told me to book a "consult" at the store before I come in. Hmm okay, I can do that.
I wish the other two bridal stores had been there as I would have liked to look at some of their dresses and talked to someone there too.


But whatever. I carried on.


While L and I were wandering around looking at different stands, I continually felt like I was being harassed by all the various reception venue people.



As I have already stated, L and I booked our reception over a year in advance. It was one of the first things we did. Having to hear every other person tell us we should have our reception with them became quite frustrating.
"I already have a reception venue, sorry" I would tell every spokeperson who tried to sell me their venue.
They would ask (demand) when the wedding was. Once I answered this they would try to make me answer a bunch of questions that would eventually lead them to tell me that I should have my reception at their venue. DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!!!!

There was also a fashion show at the Expo. Little tarts paraded around in bridesmaids dresses and later one a bunch of the House of Kavina dresses as well.
I may have narrowed my eyes at them a few times. It seems unfair that they get to model beautiful wedding dresses, especially because I may end up buying one of those dresses. WHO KNOWS!!!!





But anyway. There was also a singing group called 'The Foxy Tones' who basically just sang karaoke to background music. They weren't bad.
I would love to be in a band that played at weddings. That would be SO MUCH FUN!
If only I had friends who also wanted to do this.
Oh well, maybe one day.


The highlight of the Expo was going into the PHOTO BOOTH!
Such fun!
L and I want to hopefully maybe potentially get a photo booth after experiencing the fun of one of them!
Since there won't be any dancing, I figure it'll be a good way to entertain guests after the food and speeches.

In conclusion, I'm glad I won't have to go to another Wedding Expo.

Now I can say I've "Been There, Done That".

There is another Expo in Dunedin in August but I shan't be going.

Once you've seen one you've really seen them all.

I told L when we were walking out that an Expo like that would have been a lot more helpful if we had gone before or right after we had gotten engaged.

We're too onto it, so the things all those people were peddling didn't interest us, as we had already made all our own arrangements.


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In case you were wondering...
The wedding invitations are coming along nicely.
I have emailed our cake people and we are one step closer to sorting that out.
Hopefully we are getting some cupcakes of the cake flavours we want to try soon.
That'll be fun.

ALSO! This weekend L and I are gonna go look at vases/candle-holders/jars and also ribbons.
We are getting stuff done.
I am yet to feel any stress (which is a massive relief thus far).






DAYS TIL THE WEDDING: 256

Wedding Planning Update

L and I went to Queenstown last month. Nothing like a trip away to get your mind off wedding planning!

I really don't write on here much.

SO SLACK! SO SLACK!



Come on, M. Seriously.



Anyway, on with the blog post.


A lot of people have been asking how the wedding planning is going.

Well.

Let me tell you.

It's going!


I often forget that I am constantly doing little bits and pieces.
It doesn't seem like I am, but TRUST ME, I AM!


I finally, FINALLY, got most of the samples from Wedding Paper Divas, it took FOREVER!
Because of the massive delay I decided against buying my invitations from them (duh!)
That's stress I do not need.

So instead, my friend Aimee is helping me design them.
Which is super super kind of her and which I'm very grateful for.


I actually prefer it this way, as we can customise absolutely everything about them.


I want certain colours and wordings in the invitations.
For example, I don't like how they write out: TWO THOUSAND AND FIFTEEN.
I prefer: TWENTY FIFTEEN.
Just makes more sense if you ask me!


Aimee and I did one session of invite designing on Monday and they are already near completion.
That is due to two things:
1) Aimee being a TOTAL PRO at designing stuff
2) Me knowing exactly what I want.

Put those two together and BOOM! You get stuff done!



Onto other things.

I've also been asked to outline what I want from my wedding/what I'm excluding.



To give you a bit of an idea, I'll just list of a few things.

- L and I don't enjoy dancing so there will be no dancing at our wedding.
Why you ask?
Well, whenever I go to a wedding I will BEGRUDGINGLY take a spin on the dancefloor. I will enjoy, maybe, five minutes of it. I will then go back to my seat and sip water and chat with people.

At my wedding, do you really think I'll be allowed to dance for five minutes then sit down for the rest of it?
Just picture it!
Of course not.
I will have to keep dancing with everyone.
Ugh, no thanks.
It's "My Day" according to people so I'd rather not dance.

- No alcohol
I really don't think it's necessary. I went to my cousin's wedding which was alcohol free and it was amazing! I really enjoyed it and not having alcohol just made it that much cooler! Almost like a hipster wedding!
L and I are big fans of sparkling grape juice so we will be downing that at record speeds, I'm sure.
Sparkling grape also gives the effect of alcohol if you drink enough of it (super spazziness and light-headedness, that is). So people can get there kicks from the sparkleyness if they really need it that badly


- No flowers at the reception
Two words: Too Expensive.
I love flowers as much as the next girl, but I am giving myself the challenge of creating centerpieces and decorations that are flower-less. Not only will it save A TON of money, but the centerpieces will be easier to tidy up and they WON'T DIE! WHAT A PLUS!!!!!!



I'm starting to look for wedding dresses next month so I'll be sure to update this blog once I've done that.

If you have any questions or suggestions please leave a comment below!!! x








DAYS TIL THE WEDDING: 260

DIY Save The Dates

Practically as soon as we were engaged, my fiancé and I had set our wedding date.

Because our wedding date was in over a year,  I thought it would be a good idea to send out Save The Date cards to our guests.

Mostly it was so that they could book flights as early as possible and save money, but it is also a good way to gauge who could come to the wedding.

I figure if someone knew they couldn't make it they would get the card and see the date and realise they wouldn't be able to come.

So shortly after the engagement, I looked into getting some Save The Date cards made.


I looked into a few different options and decided to go with Snapfish.
I designed the card in about two minutes (it was super simple) with a template that was cheap and looked good (and the fiancé also liked).
It cost more to get the card on a piece of cardboard as opposed to the regular photo paper it would normally come on.




To save money I took the photo paper option and L and I went out and bought a whole bunch of white textured card.

We cut the card into the right size to fit the photos snuggly inside. It took awhile. L got frustrated with my cutting because I'm an artist so I just guesstimate where I should cut.
L is a builder so he needs to measure everything out perfectly.
The card cutting took several hours.

Once that was done we took the photos  and stuck them with glue stick to the white card.


L then weighed them down with lots of books so they wouldn't come apart.

When they were weighed down for a day or so I had the brilliant idea to handwrite our engagement party invites on the back of some of the cards.
Two birds one stone and all that.


Handwriting almost 40 cards was tough. I regret doing it now.

And after all the tireless work and the frustration and hand-cramping,  I have officially been put off DIY-ing the wedding invites.



Speaking of wedding invites, I've only managed to get 2 out of 16 of the samples that L and I ordered.
Here are the ones I have gotten:

So yes.  That's where I'm at currently.
Still trying to look at wedding invites and have also started looking into reception decorating.


Still have ages to go so I'm not worried. :-)

Introduction

Greetings to all who have stumbled across this blog!

Yay!

New blog!


To be honest, I have a feeling this will be a lot like The Girl That Eats All The Chips, as it does, after all, have the same author. But I am hoping that this blog will actually serve as a way to document my journey to the altar. And also maybe, just maybe, give other people some ideas and helpful tips for their wedding journeys as well.


First thing's first.
A bit about me.

I'm going to try and remain a bit more anonymous in this blog (as much as I can anyway).
I'm going to go by the name of M, which is inspired by Gossip Girl, and is actually something that people have called me in the past.
In fact, my older brother, a devoted GG fan, enjoys referring to me as M.
I have been engaged to me fiance, L, (that is what we'll refer to him as) for a little over a month.

I'll save our story and the way we got together for another day. It's quite cute.

Well of course I would think that.



I think I am quite a forward thinker. I like to have things sorted well before they need to.

So even though our wedding is in March next year, L and I have already started planning.




So far we have confirmed:

• Guest List
• Wedding Date
• Booked the Ceremony Venue
• Booked the Reception Venue
• Booked Photographer
• Booked Officiant
• Booked Hair-stylist

We had most of these things done within only a few weeks of being engaged.

I don't know about you, but I like feeling like I have everything under control.

I don't want my wedding to become this huge creature that is out of control and stressful.

I want the lead-up to the wedding to be a happy and fun experience.

I don't really ever enjoy planning things so I'm trying very hard to stay motivated and positive.

L is going to help me along with that.

Currently, L and I are looking at wedding invitations.

I'm not 100% sure what we are going to do, but lately I've been looking at Wedding Paper Divas.

They have a lot of cute ideas and last night I ordered some free samples.

Yay! Can't go wrong with free samples.

Does anyone have any tips about wedding invitations?

I considered making my own but after my experience of making my own Save the Date cards (more on that later), I decided against it.

I think that'll do it for this installment, thank you so much for reading.

Please feel free to leave your comments behind, all suggestions, advice and recommendations are warmly welcomed. 

Love,

M xx